A Test of Fayth – Introduction

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(Wattpad version of the story)
(This is a revised version of this chapter, if you wish to read the original, go here.)

A Test of Fayth
Introductionary Chapter –
“A Leap of Fayth”

It wasn’t much, just a book. 

I read it like any other. 

If I had a choice, I wouldn’t have done this. 

If I had a choice, it’d be so much easier. 

But that book, it changed me,

I gazed into the room I had stayed in most of my life for what may have been the last time. It was bare, I had stripped it of all the personal items, put some in my bag and I put some in boxes. I didn’t quite have the words to describe how I was feeling, I don’t quite think sadness was the right way to put it… maybe melancholy, but this was unusually powerful for such a feeling, I don’t think that described it right, either. 

There was a large duffle bag laying in front of me, I picked it up and slung it over my shoulder. It was heavy, it was all the stuff I was taking. I was never exactly the strongest of people, so I was a little worried, but it was fine, the place I was going wasn’t very far, anyway. I walked out of the room, turning my head slightly to look at it before closing the door, knowing I wouldn’t come back. 

I, sorta just, stood there, for a moment. I let everything wash over me. I remembered the times I had in this house. This had been my house since I was born, I hadn’t known anything else. The basement still had all my childhood keepsakes in it, all the old toys, all the many books that my dad had so joyfully encouraged me to- well, not joyfully, the man never smiles, but something close to that – he had encouraged me to read from an early age, I felt wrong not keeping books, so I did in case I ever felt like reading them again. 

Despite what just happened, I still love my parents dearly. They raised me well. I’ll miss my dad, the sourpuss that he is. I’ll miss my Mom, with the constant sounds of her exercising and her lively conversations with my Dad. They were conversing at that moment, in fact, arguing. This was unusual. I didn’t listen to what they were arguing about. I’m sure whatever it was, it didn’t matter. This wasn’t my home, anymore. 

I didn’t realise it, but I was super nervous. I guess it’s natural. I knew that, regardless of what happened, that my parents would be respectful enough to let me leave without incident, my Father is an extremely humble man, even when he disagrees with you. I placed my hand on the staircase railing. I realised that I was shaking. I thought it wouldn’t affect me that much, I mean, I had fully expected this… 

Trepidatiously, I quietly stepped down the stairs, walking slowly with purpose, trying to make this last as long as possible. I didn’t want to look at my father’s face. I didn’t want to see my mother sad. The wood underneath the carpeted steps creaked with every short step I took, it was an awful sound. I had always hated it, but now it began to sound even worse, each step sounded louder and louder, building to the final step down to the floor below. 

They weren’t in the hallway, I considered leaving quietly, maybe that’d have been a good decision. It was dark, the lights weren’t turned. That’s something that my dad always forgot to do, I usually had to do it for him. “Wait,” I heard a voice calling out. My mom appeared in front of me, pretty quickly. My dad seemed to be there, but he didn’t want to even look at me. She came over to me, kissing me quickly on my head. “I’ll always love you.” she told me, whispering it into my ear. 

I sighed, maybe even tearing up a bit. This wasn’t like me at all. I turned my back on my mom, she looked incredibly sad. I couldn’t really blame her, she was never as religious as my dad always was. “I, uh, guess… this is, uh… goodbye, then.” I said, awkwardly, I didn’t quite know how to… leave, you could put it. 

“Just go.” My dad finally spoke up, still not turning to look at me. He sounded completely defeated. Once again, I don’t really know if I could blame him. 

“Alright, then…” I muttered, barely audible. “See you down the road.” I told my mom and dad, speaking a little louder. I didn’t want this to be goodbye forever, I wanted to make sure that they knew that the door was always open to speak to me again, if they ever felt like changing their minds. Maybe my Mom would, she was way more understanding than she initially appeared… my Dad on the other hand, I don’t think so. 

With that said, I shut the door behind me, hearing it violently slam. I stood there for a moment, taking this all in. Was this really a good idea? I could either continue rejecting myself and lying to the people around me in order to have a stable life… or I could be authentic and live a much more difficult one. I had chosen the latter option, but at the very least I had some sort of plan for myself. 

It was cold outside. I hadn’t brought a jacket with me. I hated my jacket, way too masculine. I know that’s weird, really it was just a bunch of fabric, but it felt way too masculine whenever I wore it, almost feeling like a muscle suit. This meant, of course, that the chill in the air ran through my bones. I wasn’t wearing anything other than a loose-fitting black t-shirt and jeans, my usual attire, if you could even call it that, not really something I put much thought into.

This neighbourhood, gladly, was quiet. Always very quiet. Reasonably well off, too. Our house wasn’t too big because my father was a very modest man, always, but it didn’t mean we had no money, we certainly had quite a lot of it. The good thing is that I was often coming and going from the house, so I thought that no one in the neighbourhood would probably assume anything. It was a place that you could disappear from, and it’s entirely possible that no one would notice. 

Sighing to myself once more, and wiping something from my eyes with my forearm, I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and began to walk. The good news was that I wasn’t going to be stuck in the cold air for long, the bad news was that it was really cold. The weather in Larata is notoriously chilly, even during the spring months, the cold never seemed to let up… 

There was a shortcut through the woodlands near the house, a part of the city protected from urban developments by people quite fond of the abundant nature that the city was actually quite well known for, despite its many high-rise skyscrapers and pollutive highways that stretched from this suburb all the way to the fields of flowers that signify the entrance to the city. It was dark, so I couldn’t see much in the forest. My phone had run out of battery, typical.

I knew the path off by heart, I had been down this way many times before. At the end of one of the many paths that branches off from the woods, a very large house appears in front of you. Had been uninhabited, it’d be a setting for a horror movie. Fitting, considering who usually inhabited it. The family who had bought the house certainly weren’t shy of showing off their wealth. A former Ice Hockey player named Devlin Warren, along with his wife, horror movie director Juliet Warren.

They weren’t really the people I was interested in talking with, though, not that they were ever at the house. I don’t even think I’ve ever met them. I had only ever met their daughter, who was something like my only friend. I had other acquaintances, but they were really people I only said “hello” to whenever I passed them, not really anyone who I could have a conversation with for a significant time. 

The house was huge, more like a mansion, I suppose. It was gated, with a massive gate that would dwarf even a truck, and cast a very imposing shadow during day time. An old building, I believe around 200 years old, used originally as a house for the Royal Family when they decided to stay in this city. It certainly looked the part, but I had been heavily renovated since those days. The only way to get in was to buzz in at the gate, something that always made me slightly nervous, you never know what she would be doing.  

They weren’t really the people I was interested in talking with, though, not that they were ever at the house. I don’t even think I’ve ever met them. I slowly walked over to the very well polished gate. I thought to myself “Does she do this?” I couldn’t ever imagine that girl cleaning anything. I fumbled around in the dark, looking for the buzzer with my hands, it didn’t appear to be anywhere. I hit random parts of the gate, hoping that I wouldn’t get my hand trapped in one of the black steel bars and then have to be cut out, or something ridiculous like that. 

Finally, though, I found the buzzer and pressed the button. There was a speaker and a microphone on the buzzer, so that you could communicate with the person inside the house to ask to be let in. There were also cameras on the gate, so they could see who was there. If you were wondering, the driveway for cars was at the back of the building, connecting to the main road through a private road that went to the property, with another gate that only the homeowner can open with keys. 

“Hellooooooooooo!!!” an energetic voice called out of the speaker, the compression and her loud tone made it sound terrible. “Who is it?” she asked, almost singing. She could have checked the camera, but I guess she didn’t feel like it.

 “It’s me.” I replied with far more monotone in my voice. Even with her enthusiasm, it was hard to find that same energy for myself. 

The gate popped open, making a horrendous sound as it scraped across the grass and combed through the dirt. I saw the door to the mansion pop open immediately after, with the grass in front of the house now lit up with the electric lights of the world inside. I walked quickly up the path to the front of the house, seeing as the figure in front of me, before covered in shadow, turned into someone who I knew quite well. This was Flora Warren, the friend I mentioned earlier. 

“Didn’t go well?” she asked, her eyes not focused fully at me, but rather at the bag that I was holding, the largest one I could find. 

 “Yeah.” I replied, short and succinctly. 

“Come in, then. I guess we’ve got a bit to talk about.” she stated, her tone was uncharacteristically sweet and caring, not something you usually saw from Flora. I walked into the house with her kindly shutting the door behind me, surprisingly, she did it as gently as she could.

The girl beside me looked… I would say dishevelled, but this was just how she dressed at home. An ill-fitting old t-shirt with some foreign writing and some horror character on it, as well as black shorts that went above her knees. She had an attractive face, but always with some kind of devilish expression on it, it also featured a distinctive tiny scar on her lip. Her blonde hair was braided, with a large braid at the back of her head and two smaller braids that lay usually on her ear, not quite covering them entirely, but covering much of them. Thin, very thin, but not to the point where she looked unwell, I think she exercised semi-frequently. Characteristically, she also had a small hair pin above her left temple featuring a hockey mask. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like her dad, though… 

The house instantly went from the front door into a very large and very extravagant living room. A large salmon coloured carpet, spreading infinitely forward from the door mat. “Remember your shoes.” She said softly, not wanting me to mess up the carpet, I imagine. The room wasn’t well lit.

 “Would you mind turning on the lights?” I asked, the only light coming from the TV in the centre of the room. 

“Oh, sure!” she quickly scampered over to the middle of the room, which she somehow did without hitting anything with her legs. She had a remote that controlled the lights, which she turned to half-brightness. Trust me, full brightness is blinding. “I usually just sit in here with the lights on low, so…” she explained to me, it only made me more confused. But, now, at least, I could see more of the room. Not that anything changed since the last time I’ve been here. 

A collection of comfy, fluffy looking couches (she says that her mom decided to put those there) as well as a bunch of extravagant paintings, a fireplace and of course, a large television. The room was huge, also. The TV was playing something about the Royal Family, or something. The news broadcaster said “The Royal Family have arrived in Lome-” before being abruptly cut off by Flora turning off the TV. 

She clapped her hands together, still holding the remote. That probably hurt. “Right.” She began, looking directly at me with some kind of determination in her eyes. “I think we probably should talk about this.” she stated, before abruptly making her way to the kitchen, which feels like it’s 10 kilometres away, but it’s probably closer to 10 metres away from where we were standing. “Sit down, I’ll get you something to drink.” she told me, her voice getting further and further away as she said so.

I sat down, placing my duffle bag on the floor and letting myself sink into the comfortable chair. “I’m fine, I’m not really…” I tried to explain, but she wasn’t having it, shouting back at me 

“You are not, let me make you something to drink.” I guess she didn’t realise I could hear her fine even if she was that far away from me. 

“U-uh… do you have any orange juice?” I reluctantly agreed to her demand. I had inherited my mother’s taste for fruit juice only recently, though the one I was a big fan of was tomato juice, but it was unlikely that she would have that. Honestly, I was thirsty, I just wasn’t good at asking for things. 

There was a minute of silence, I brought out my phone to look at it, but I remembered that it wasn’t charged and felt defeated. Flora emerged soon after, “Unfortunately, Dumbass Central Station only bought orange juice with pulp,” she apologised in her bizarre, abrasive way, handing me my cup. I had no idea who “Dumbass Central Station” was, maybe her? “Here’s some cookies, also.” She produced a tray of cookies, which I somehow didn’t see before, she put it on a small cabinet that lay between the two couches, within arm’s reach of both of us. 

“Really, I’m fine-” I tried to convince her, but…

“I don’t think so. You look like you’re gonna burst into tears at any moment.” I gave in immediately and took a cookie. The thing with Flora was that she was able to tell you what your emotions were before you even knew, I don’t know how it worked. I bit into the cookie, very fresh tasting, probably baked that day. Very sweet, also. I knew instantly who had baked it, she always put too much sugar in…

“Oh, yeah, I baked those.” She explained to me what I had already figured out from the taste. “They good?” she asked, an impish look in her eyes as she knew that I would be unable to answer anything but “yes”. Which I did, with a sly nod. I didn’t really like how sweet they were, but I knew that was very much intentional. “Right then, now we can talk about it, if that’s okay with you?” she asked, being rather polite, very strange for me to hear. 

“When you first met me…” she began, jumping into a fluffy chair that sat opposed to the couch that I had lazily slumped my body against. I was always told to sit with a good posture by my father, but I didn’t quite feel like doing that right now. “You were surprised that I was someone who baked, right?” she asked me, again, already knowing the answer. It was one of her specialties. 

“Yeah…” I responded quickly, I had a pretty good idea on where this was going.

 “So, when I learnt you were…” she stumbled a bit, searching for the word in her mind. “Y’know, uh, how to put it…?”

“Trans.” I corrected her, before she said anything stupid. She had a history of always putting her bare feet in her mouth when it comes to this kinda stuff. 

“Yeah, that’s it! When I learnt you were like that, I thought, ‘Wow, I would never have expected that!’ because you were always so unassuming and not weird.”  She paused, reflecting on what she said, before clarifying. “I don’t mean, like, it’s wrong because it’s weird, but it is weird, you know?”

“Right, and what does that gotta do with the situation now?” I asked, journeying into the unknowable abyss that was asking this woman a question. 

“You’ll see, you’ll see…” she responded, not giving me an explanation of any kind before continuing on her rant. “Although, it does actually make sense that you’d be so quiet and have a bunch of weird secrets, now that I think about it…” 

“Mm-hm.” I responded sharply, trying to sound annoyed but I don’t think it came off that way to her. 

“But I don’t think you liked me either, right?” once again asking me a question that she knew the answer to, this time she didn’t even wait for a response. “Which, I thought I was being pretty friendly, so that was kinda rude of you.” 

“Get to the point.” I snapped at her, I wasn’t really in the mood for this at the moment. 

“My point is…” she delayed herself, seeming to fumble around for a good response in her mind. I wonder if there was a point at all. “Sorry. I guess I just rambled for a bit there.” she admitted, sounding a bit more reserved than she did the moment before. “I guess my point is that we’re not really, like, people who should have gotten along in any capacity. But, I’m willing to support you with whatever.”

“I don’t see how that follows at all.” I thought, but didn’t want to respond to her with something rude like that. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” I said instead, which was my honest thoughts. Despite her many faults, I couldn’t have really wished for a better friend than Flora. Her faults were sometimes quite distracting, though. 

Flora took her eyes away from me after this, nervously shifting her braids on her left ear around with her index and middle fingers. “I do need to know what actually, like, happened.” she finally came out and said, there’d be enough delay. “If it’s not too much, I mean, I don’t want to… pry.” she stated, I had a hard time believing her, though. All this woman does is pry. “But it’s kinda important, y’know?” she added on, she was trying to convince me of something I already agreed with, this was something she was very, very fond of, for some reason. 

“Well…” I began, trying to gather my thoughts, I looked into the cup of coffee, hoping that it would magically tell me what to say, unfortunately, that didn’t seem to happen. “I guess the best way to put it is that ‘the worst case scenario’ you and I talked about happened.” I explained, taking a sip from the orange juice. Pulp felt slimy and gross as it went down my throat, but I didn’t mind too much. Otherwise, it was a pretty fresh, pleasant drink. “Dad told me that he wouldn’t have another disruptive child in his house, and asked me to leave. Mom looked upset, he just looked disappointed.”

“Hmm…” she mused, staring at the increasingly more empty plate of cookies. “I thought The Seafarer¹ said that you can’t kick out your kids, though.” She seemed puzzled when she said it, I didn’t know how familiar she actually was with scripture.

 “It says you can’t disown your children, not that you can’t kick them out.” I explained, of course, I left a bit of nuance out of the explanation but I wasn’t in the mood to explain what each denomination thought of that particular verse. 

“Right.” She seemed to accept my explanation, but she still remained with a puzzled look on her face. “Still weird, though.” This seemingly left both of us in confusion, I didn’t really understand what was so weird about it, I looked at her, as if to ask for an explanation.

 “Like…” she began, pausing to gather her thoughts, her eyes darting to the corner of the room, looking at one of the paintings. “I just think, after what happened with Lily, he wouldn’t really want to do that, y’know?” she tried to reason, I don’t know why she was trying to reason it, it already happened.

 “Yeah, but… Lily’s a different case.” I tried to explain back to her, but it didn’t seem like she was having any of it. 

“How’s it different?” she asked, her tone shifting to something slightly more combative. 

“It’s different because Lily was never kicked out. She just left. We know she’s okay, and that’s all that we know.” I snapped back at her, now I was starting to sound combative. I still remember when the police informed us that they had found Lily. For an undetermined reason, they said she didn’t want to talk to us, other than to inform us that she was okay. It’s been a sore subject for me ever since. 

“Whatever, you get what I mean.” she muttered, I could feel the vitriol coming from her. 

“Don’t just “whatever” my sister.” I wanted to say, but I thought that this was going far enough as it was. I took another sip of my juice to calm myself, somehow, it kept tasting colder every time. Flora angrily chomped a cookie, biting it in half in a bizarre display of anger and crunching it as loud as she could. 

“Uh.” She broke the silence. Well, not silence, but lack of talking. “Sorry, went a bit overboard there, might’ve been a tad combative.” she spoke up, using her low apologetic voice that she liked to use whenever she had made a mistake. “What matters is that, hopefully, she’s alive somewhere, and safe.” she said, almost trying to reassure herself about it. “I remember her being cool…”

“I know, I know.” I reassured her, “It’s fine, really.” I had managed to calm myself down surprisingly quickly, “I’m a bit emotional right now.” I took another sip of my juice, finally, there was less pulp. 

“There’s something else we should probably talk about,” her voice shifted back to a lighter tone, but still one that was serious. “I told you earlier, ‘if you want, you can crash here for a bit until this blows over’ and I was serious about that.” 

“Glad to hear that you were. I don’t have any other places to stay.” I explained. My grandparents lived all the way over in the north, at least 10 hours away. I could have gone to my aunt, Jora, but she lived in a different city. Lily is obviously out of the question. “Yeah, we’ve got space, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” she said in a slightly overly confident tone. “There’s just some stuff that we’ll have to, uh, negotiate.” 

“Negotiate?” I questioned the wording she used, which seemed like a strange thing to say. 

“Yeah, well, I just have some, uh… ground rules, if you will.” she stuttered a bit, she seemed kinda awkward saying this. Maybe she had rehearsed this part? “First things first, you’re gonna be living with a girl. Don’t be a weirdo.” 

“You should really think about the wording of that, just a little.” I snapped back, I know that she doesn’t really get this, so I can’t be too surprised. 

“Oh, uh, I meant, uh…” she started awkwardly stuttering, very unlike her. “You know?” she asked, confusingly, at the end of this parade of stuttering. “I get your point, if that’s what you’re asking.” Low chance of me being a “weirdo” as she put it, I’m not really the type interested in doing something like that… and Flora was always more of a friend to me. 

“Great!” she stated, I have no idea how she thought I would do anything like that, I don’t even think I’ve shown any kind of interest. “Just making sure, haha!” she attempted to reassure me, her voice sounded remarkably fake. Was this some sort of test to see if I find her attractive? “Then, there should be no problem with you having the room next to mine upstairs, it’s a spare one, anyway.” she explained to me. 

“Just to make extra sure, though, always make sure to lock the bathroom door when you’re in, there’s a light that comes on, and always check for it.” she explained to me, rather condescending. 

“Right,” I politely accepted her explanation. 

“The second rule is actually a pretty important thing. So, you might not believe this, but I can’t actually pay for stuff for you.” She began to explain, I prepared to interject, but she didn’t let me. “See, I have a monthly allowance that I’m allowed to have and that’s it. I don’t get anything else and my parents don’t want to give me anything else. It’s only enough for food, mom’s worried I’ll buy “stupid stuff”, as she put it.” she rambled, I was attuned enough to her voice to understand what her high pitch rambles meant. “So, in short, you’ll have to get a job. Mostly to pay for your own food and toiletries and all the other stuff you need.”

“Hm. Okay.” I accepted her proposal, but not without a tiny bit of protest. “There’s a bit of a problem with that, though.” A surprised look cropped up on her face, before she realised. 

“Ohhh, well…” she paused for a moment, waggling her finger in the air. I don’t know how that helps you get answers more easily. “Is it really that much of a problem? I mean, you are still going by “Jarren” at school, right?” 

“I’d prefer you didn’t say that name.” I told her, but moved on rather quickly, “But, yes, that’s true. It’s just that, the only time I really have to hear it is during roll call. If I got a job, I might have to hear it a lot more.” I explained to her, she still didn’t quite “get” the whole thing, but she tries her best to be supportive. “I’m tired of pretending.” I thought to myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it outloud. 

“Even so, I still need you to get a job.” She began, her tone had shifted to sound more thoughtful, like she was deeply considering the options that I had.  “I could get mom to give me more allowance, but that’s not really a guarantee.” She explained. This all seemed very reasonable, but I still couldn’t think of any place where I would be allowed to be myself in. “Hmm, what about The Sammich Palace²? You like that place.” She asked, before adding on a snide remark of “You’re probably the only one who does.” in a low voice, almost a whisper.

“At The Sandwich Palace, they wear name tags.” I countered, I got a bit annoyed at her remark, so I might have sounded a bit aggressive.

 “Hmm, I have an idea! It’s just an idea, though.” She suddenly blurted out, her face gave away that she thought that this was a genius idea. 

“What is it?” I pursued her sudden idea, only to be hit with a rather annoying response.

 “Let me tell you the other conditions first.” She stopped me in my tracks like a red light at a traffic stop. 

I sighed, snapping a cookie in half with my teeth. I hope she remembered to clean the crumbs off the chair… “Alright,” I accepted, slightly rolling my eyes a bit. “What are the other conditions, then?” She still had a devious look on her face, and I still don’t actually know why. Maybe she was just high on her brilliant idea that she decided not to tell me? Who knows, it definitely wasn’t what she was about to say. 

“Go to sleep at a reasonable time.” She began, using her condescending tone once again. Although, to be fair, she was right here. I didn’t go to sleep at a good time, usually. “You always seem to text me at, like, 4 AM.” She once again began explaining to me something that I already knew, so I decided to cut it off.

“Right, I think I can do that, but I don’t think I can promise you that it’ll definitely happen.” It was certainly a big problem I had. 

She clapped her hands together again, completely taking me off guard. “Great!” For some godforsaken reason, she decided to clap her hands together a second time, almost completely blowing out my ears for the rest of the day. “I just can’t get to sleep if I hear anything past midnight.” She began to explain this bizarre affliction she has, “I’m not joking, if I hear anything then I’ll be up all night. I have ear muffs to block out sounds and everything.” 

Somehow, I believed her. This woman was so odd that stuff like this just seemed normal to me at this point. I nodded in agreement, it’s not like I could really disagree with the sentiment. “Alright, then. Any other conditions?” I asked, curious to know what else this woman would pull out of the ether. 

“This one might be a bit obvious, but you’ve gotta keep this a secret. We can’t really have anyone know that you’re here.” She stated.

“That might be a bit hard, but I did live near you for years, anyway.” The good thing is that this house was located in a forest, it was out of the way from the rest of the neighbourhood, and oftentimes I went into these woodlands as a shortcut to my parent’s house.

 “Always make sure to come in from the front, or, I guess, the back entrance. The one that’s like a front entrance, but it isn’t. Because the front entrance is the one with the driveway. You know what I mean?” She rambled off.

“Somehow, yes.” I responded, I somehow knew how exactly to untangle the crosswires of her confusing ramblings. 

“If I’m not back, you can just, like, climb over the gate.” She explained to me, my face twisted into bewilderment. 

“That gate is huge!” I tried to reason with her, but she simply refused to see the issue at hand.

 “So? I can climb over it perfectly fine.” She then immediately realised something, “Oh! Right! I leave the electric shock on a lot.” 

“…that isn’t the problem.” I tried to explain to her, but once again it seemed like she was stuck in her own little world.

 “Yeah, true. It’s perfectly fine to climb up to the top when the electricity is on.” She said, the craziest thing is that she clearly believed what she was saying.

 “What!? Are you serious!?” I lost my mind for a small moment, before calming down when I realised “She isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.” 

“Yeah, being electrocuted isn’t so bad. I kinda enjoy it.” she told me, I was completely stunned into silence. 

“Maybe it scrambled her brains.” I thought to myself, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was she messing with me? You can never tell with Flora. 

“Anyway, though, back to the important stuff.” She quickly changed track, her face having that impish smile once more. 

“Okay, she’s definitely doing it on purpose, then.” I thought to myself, but it was kinda inappropriate to do that given the situation. 

“Are you sure your dad’s not gonna tell anyone?” she asked, finally, something intelligent came out of her mouth.

 “No, he’s very private. He still lies about being in contact with Lily to people all the time.” I explained to her.

 “Huh, right. Wait, I didn’t know priests were allowed to lie!… or have kids, for that matter.” She somehow had not realised that despite knowing who my dad was for years. 

“Depends on the denomination for the kids.” I began, I could’ve given her a much more detailed explanation, but I was very tired. “The Seafarer says that you can lie, but as long as it’s for ‘justifiable reason’.” Some priests will use the lies that prophets use in the book as an example of justifiable lies, some will go with their gut feeling on what is “justified”. “Right, right… I don’t think I know what a justifiable reason is, though.” 

“…it’s a bit complicated. You’d probably have to ask Hestala to know that for sure.” Which of course, you’d need a time machine to do that. 

“Guess I’ll find out when I die, then.” She happily remarked. It was more complicated than that, but we didn’t need to get into the nuances of the afterlife. Flora put her hand out to get a cookie, but they seemed to be all finished already. She seemed slightly miffed. “What about your mom? Will she tell anyone? ” she asked, to which there was a much more complicated answer. 

“Maybe, but she doesn’t actually talk to a lot of people. I think she’s told me before that my Dad is the only friend she really has.” I pursued over my memories, trying to remember if my Mom had any more friends than I was thinking of. I couldn’t think of anyone… other than my aunt, and even then they seemed like they hated each other half of the time.

“Huh?” her face turned confused at this comment. “But, she’s such a nice woman. She’s always really friendly and kind…” She looked down at the ground, trying to figure out why no one would be friends with this very nice woman. 

“Yeah, well… uh, usually people are her friend, until they find out, y’know…” I tried to explain as subtly as possible, it wasn’t really something I was meant to talk about.

 “Oooooohhhhh…” she gasped in realisation, “Yeah…” 

“Yeah, it becomes a bit of a problem whenever people learn her maiden name, so she can’t really keep any friends.” She also tends to switch jobs a lot, the employers are fine with it because she already discloses her criminal record, but when the other employees learn, they usually freak out. 

“That’s a shame…” She lamented, she was a big fan of my mom, always seeming to talk to her whenever she went over to my place. Or I guess, my parent’s place.  “Okay, final two conditions,” she moved on quite quickly, her face lighting up like a computer monitor when you press the power button. “First, don’t eat any of my food. Just eat the food that you buy. Unless you’re allowed to, make sure to ask first.” Flora explained, her diet was odd so I didn’t think that would be an issue. 

“Alright, sure.” I just agreed, hoping to myself that the sentiment went both ways. 

“And the final one…” she paused herself, trying to pretend to be a game show host? I don’t really know what she was doing, at any point. “…clean your room, I can’t deal with mess.” Her voice sounded deflated when she said it. I guess she realised that it wasn’t as dramatic as she thought it sounded in her head. 

“Not a problem. I’m always cleaning, anyway. My mom is surprisingly messy.” This was something that Dad would always get mad at. Luckily, I seemed to have gotten his habits instead of hers. 

“Hmm… sounds good, then. I don’t think my parents will be a problem, either.” Flora pondered for a moment, trying to remember the last time her parents were at her house for a long period of time, I imagine, anyway. 

“Really?” I asked, curious, “Are they seriously never over here?” It’s true that I’ve only ever seen them a couple of times, her mom, especially, seems to be always missing. I don’t know if I’ve ever met her.

“Yeah, Mom is always directing a new project and Dad’s always on some kind of business trip or doing talks. Recently, in fact, he started coaching the Cartier Canaries³, so he’ll be here even less.” She explained to me, I did feel kinda sorry for her, but I knew she didn’t really like her dad. 

“So, when’s the last time they showed up?” I questioned, wanting to know when I would have to be careful. 

“They were here in January for, like, two weeks.” She thought to herself for a moment, “And that was the first time they had shown up for a year. Sometimes they come over randomly, sometimes they don’t.” She explained, seemed like very lousy parents if you ask me, but I guess I didn’t have parents with jobs that required them to be out of the city so much. I know her mom spends a lot of time across the sea. 

“So, shouldn’t be a problem until January, then?” I asked. 

“Hopefully, you’ll have all of this solved by then, but yes.” She seemed kinda sad saying it, I remember that her parents were always away, even when she was much younger. 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose.” I tried to reassure her. This was meant to be a temporary living arrangement, after all. 

“I just hope you don’t have to spend a bunch of money on a hotel for two weeks, or something.” she admitted, it was strange to have her directly show care for me, though I was sure it was genuine from how she acted. 

Like a lion pouncing on her prey, Flora just suddenly jumped to her feet, the sound of her hitting the ground was almost like an earthquake. It’s not like she weighed much, she just really slammed all of her weight directly into the ground. “Alright!” she exclaimed, suddenly enthused at the prospect of finishing the conversation. “You can stay in the spare room, like I told you earlier, just make sure to unpack your bag.”

“Wait a second.” I stopped her right there, she still had something to explain. 

“Can it wait? There’s a new horror movie that my mom made on TV and I really wanna see it.” She explained to me, 

“Ah, that explains why she’s in such a rush.” I thought to myself. “Well, I’m just wondering about that idea you mentioned earlier.” I explained, she seemed a bit confused for a moment, “For the job, I mean.”

“Oh! Right, right, right!” her face once again lit up at her genius idea. “Yeah, so… this one requires a bit of backstory, so stay with me…” Her face showed when she was thinking very well, if you hadn’t already noticed. “So, there’s this, uh… what’s the right term…” she began, good start. “Lesbian. Lesbian. Yeah, that’s it. I almost called her a dy-”

I cut her off immediately with, “Yes, and?” The stuff that this woman comes out with can be completely unbelievable at times, even for someone who had known her for quite a bit. 

“Yeah, well, she… uh, me and her, we’re like… not… friends, but…” She tried to find the right word, I was still partially in shock from what she just casually said.

 “Acquaintances.” I clarified for her.

“Yeah, that. Do you know her? Rose. Rose Nathan, that is.” I tried to remember who this girl was, it came to my mind eventually, but I was stuck on it for a bit. 

“Uhhh, she’s in the class below us, right?” I asked, I only had a fuzzy picture of her in my mind. I could definitely recognise the name, but not the face or what she looked like. 

“Yeah! That’s her.” Flora once again looked puzzled, I imagine she was trying to find how to say this is a non-offensive way. “She works at a bar… for folks like you. So, I can ask her to get you a job. I’m sure you’ll be allowed to, uh, be yourself, or something close to it, anyhow, while you’re there.” Despite the slightly offensive way of putting it, I understood what she meant. But I knew something was up with how she talked about Rose. 

“What’s the catch?” I asked, sounding extraordinarily defeated. 

“She hates me. It’ll be hard for me to talk to her.” She explained quite clearly to me. “Like, she really hates me, more than anyone else on Earth.”

 I could only think to myself “What on Earth could she have done for her to be like that towards Flora?” But she didn’t seem interested in dwelling on it, so I didn’t push further. “Alright, it’ll be a good idea to try it, though.” I tried to convince her. “Yeah, but you’ll have to come out to her and everything, we’ll have to try tomorrow at school… also, try not to mix up terms like that to her face.”

“I’ve probably done worse…” She chuckled. I didn’t pay much attention, though, I was thinking about Rose, she would probably be more accepting of someone like me, considering that… Well, no one accepts her, either. “Now, as politely as possible, please leave so I can watch my movie! I actually came up with the concept for this one, Mom was very impressed.” She seemed excited, and I’m not really into horror movies, as she knows, so I decided to end our conversation. 

“Alright, then. Thank you for everything, truly.” I told her, I tried to put the most sincerity and gratitude into saying that. As much as my tired and emotionally-spent brain would allow, anyway. 

“…uh, no problem, I guess.” she said, much more sheepish than usual. “Goodnight… F-Fayth.” she said to me as I disappeared up the stairs and into my new life.

That was the first time I had ever heard someone call me by my new name. 

It was moving. So, moving… I was holding back tears when she told me that.

What I didn’t realise, though, is that this was the beginning of something… 

Something that would change everything I thought I knew about life. 

A truly important journey was about to begin for me.

Notes: 

1. The Seafarer is the Holy Book of the religion of Hesism, a religion based around the veneration of a single God who came to Earth in the form of a human woman named Hestala (depending on denomination). 
2. The Sammich Palace is a popular fast food chain restaurant that sells sandwiches, some people (like Fayth) do not like the name and call it “The Sandwich Palace”. It is often decried for its lack of quality, but everyone seems to eat it. 
3. The Cartier Canaries are an ice hockey team that operate out of Cartier, Larata, the biggest city in the country, with a population of 5 million people.